Tuesday, December 28, 2010

So this is Christmas, 2010

Christmas Memories 2010 :

· Seeing the extended family grow in number and meeting some of the “next generation”.

· Watching my older cousins getting thoroughly tested by the “next generation”.

· Attempting a Christmas shopping expedition with a couple of my mates – failing - and ending up sitting in the massage chairs at DJ’s before capitulating to a couple of pots of liquid cheer.

· Succumbing to buying hundreds of dollars worth of “dead sea minerals” from a beautiful Israeli girl (she was an excellent salesperson, mind you).

· Watching the Australian cricket team win a great 3rd Ashes test, only to be incinerated to ashes on Boxing day.

· Losing my grip on the family cards trophy.

· Catching up with missed friends.

· Eating a magnificent array of flora and fauna over a few glorious but gluttonous lunches.

· The rain.

My warm wishes that this festive season is a happy one for you all.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Return to Rugby – “Staying on the Field”

This year I decided to lace up the boots again and return to the fold for another season of rugby. I had contemplated doing so for the last couple of years... But after four years absence, the itch became significant enough to scratch and I decided to return. It's a return to dingy club dressing sheds, the smell of freshly cut grass, the sound of studs on cement, chilly weeknight trainings and a strangely satisfying battered and bruised Sunday morning body…

Rugby was a big part of my life for a long time.

I gave it away at age 22, largely out of frustration with consistent injury problems – and also, because I felt my commitment had waned… And, I suppose I reached a point where I wanted to try some new things free of playing serious rugby.

I had been on the brink of turning a childhood passion for the game into a career and the disappointment of the timing of a major injury was immense. In my lay-off, I suppose I saw the game as having changed, and not necessarily for the better. I questioned whether it was really something I wanted to do “full time”. Also, I had played so much as a junior and as a kid I as well as in the schoolyard and the backyard that in a way, it felt like I’d already had a “life” of experiences in the sport..

I will save that struggle of dealing with injury for another time, save for the fact to add that virtually anyone who is involved with sport, or indeed any physical performance discipline or art, experiences injury and has their commitment tested, in this regard, at some point.

The people that do ultimately make it to the highest level have invariably persevered through some significant challenges. Perseverance is one of the critical life lessons taught, in the theatre of sport. Not always do we measure up – I probably didn’t, ultimately, in respect of my run of injuries.

Not that I am bitter about my decision because it was the right one - for me - at the time.

The mental commitment and discipline required to continue to work extremely hard at a pursuit, coupled with the mentality to contextualise set-backs and persevere are the critical ingredients.

This was well articulated in a recent interview I watched on ABC’s “Lateline” program, with a guy called Matthew Syed (who has written a book called “Bounce”). In addition to the things mentioned above he argues, somewhat radically, that innate talent plays an almost negligible role in the evidence and documented science of becoming a “champion”.

Syed was himself a table tennis champion and interestingly, the street he grew up on nurtured the careers of the majority of Britain’s premier table tennis players of the 1980’s. I have cut and pasted various comments from the interview below:

“...patterns of success and failure… it's about how long you're prepared to work. It's an ability to stick at it, even though there are gonna be difficult periods along that road. And what the evidence seems to suggest is that those who make it are those who believe that excellence pivots on practice….if on the other hand you believe that excellence pivots specifically on talent, any time you fail, you're gonna interpret that as you not having sufficient talent. So you're likely to give up. If you believe that excellence does hinge on effort, then any time you fail, you're gonna see it as an opportunity to adapt and grow. And so that mindset, what a psychologist at Stanford University calls the "growth mindset" - the idea that you can transform yourself over time, it's a deeply liberating mindset and it is that belief that tends to propel people along the road to excellence...

I give innate talent almost no weight at all, and that’s a controversial view… The process of ingraining excellence is long-term, but what the evidence suggests is that almost all of us who are healthy have the potential to get there, provided we're willing to stick at it for all those many hours.

…there are certain hardware issues that are significant in certain activities. So, for example, if you're very short you're unlikely to become a top basketball player ... However, in virtually all the tasks characterised by what I describe as complexity, the limiting factor is not hardware, it is software… What they have is acquired mental representations that enable them to play in the most efficient way.

One of the reasons that initial talent doesn't really matter very much is that your innate structure is very much the starting point. Over time… with practice, you change dramatically, not just the body, but the anatomy of the brain.

…there was a time when scientists thought that the plasticity, the adaptability of the brain, was limited to childhood. We now know that the brain can adapt, the anatomy can change dramatically even at late middle age.

…When you learn a skill for the first time, you exercise conscious control over it, like when you drive a car… as you build up the neural frameworks supporting the skill, you have to concentrate very, very hard… When you become brilliant at something, proficient at something, you can do it subconsciously.”

Syed also spoke of the need to “care about the destination” – and that this “care” needed to be internally motivated not externally influenced. To this end, he said that great coaches play an enormous part in this process and that the genius of coaching was in encouraging not coercing. Creating external conditions in which a person resented what they were doing, are deeply destructive, argues Syed, but on the other hand:

“the sociological skill of encouraging… and trying to ensure that that motivation is internalised, that is the liberation that the performer needs to get there…the skill of top coaches… is not technical, it's not tactical, it is almost a branch of social psychology to get the performer to really care about where they're going and to entrench the growth mindset.”

I certainly feel I have seen examples of what Syed talks about. Example - several players in the current Wallabies squad are guys I played with and against. All the guys I know that are there have surmounted their own significant challenges and persevered where others chose not to. There are others of great ability that I played with and against that are not there of course. The mental and physical resilience, and the sacrifice in the face of other opportunities, to arrive in that position is great and I don’t discount or trivialise it for a second. Luck plays a role as it does in everything in life but hindsight has taught me that the "growth mindset" Syed talks about is the determining factor.

I digress, but it is an interesting interview and many fine wisdoms expressed that are clearly relevant not just to sport but many pursuits in life. You can read the transcript of the full interview here: http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2010/s2951668.htm

The way that sport can magnify universal human experiences and teachings is unique. Having gone back, I realise I have missed competitive sport.

Whilst the prestigious Brisbane third grade isn't exactly the most "competitive" and intense pressure cooker in the sporting world, that's where I find myself and I have been really enjoying it. I never thought I would enjoy this kind of less intensive rugby much – but I am. The standard is decent though and I’ve played the equivalent of about 8 full games now. I'm back with my old club Souths and one of the best things about it is that I am playing with old friends – guys I played junior, school, colts, A Grade and rep footy with. It’s a talented bunch of players even if it is the oldest team at the club – we go through more strapping tape than any other - but everyone is playing for the love of the game, with their mates in a relaxed frame of mind. We train a couple of times a week, go out on a Saturday and throw it around and strive to perform well. We’re sitting on the top of our table comfortably and while winning is always the goal, it’s not the sole driving force for being there.

Having been out of the game for over four years, my aspirations have been very modest – simply to get on the field, try to rediscover some fitness and form, enjoy it and stay on the field… if I come through this season and am feeling good, maybe that will change to trying to play as well as I can – but for now, it’s just good to be back.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Reminders

I bumped into someone from my past today and it was good to see them.

Sometimes people walk into your life randomly and it takes you by suprise. In many instances they have exited without the chance of a goodbye.

These random interludes are like little reminders – flashpoints - from your past. They may have been really significant, but for whatever reason (there could be a thousand... or just one) they arn’t in your life anymore. Occasionally you will see someone and you really wish they were.

I find that it’s these people that often have an amazing ability of reminding you where you’ve been, where you are and where you want to go...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Sober Train (Part 3)

Next Friday is the 9th of April which means 3 months off the drink and essentially a target reached. I haven’t wavered yet. I’ve definitely enjoyed parts of not drinking, but it does have its moments. This weekend I’m going to “Bluesfest” in Byron Bay, which will no doubt be one of those challenging moments, full of temptation. The beach, a festival atmosphere and live music are definitely conducive.

Which brings me to a topic I touched on in my first blog on this issue but never said much about - the way that occupations, environments etc influence our social habits – and the propensity to drink.

I can only talk from my own experience, but I acknowledge that many of the professional and recreational environments I have moved through in my own career have not only condoned drinking but have at times, it must be said, encouraged it.

To provide some examples: In recent years I have been a rugby player, worked in the legal profession, worked in the music business and have tried to be a writer… Each of these vocations are very different. Perhaps the companion to each however is the alcoholic bevvy. Looking at it openly, alcohol does play a significant part in the social fabric of each – for quite different reasons.

In the rugby culture, drinking can be a way of celebrating a win, commiserating a loss, winding down after a game, part of club nights, team building and creating camaraderie – the reasons are many and varied….

In the regimented, precise, pressure cooker of the legal profession, it’s a way of blowing off steam. My own experience working in law was that when Friday night ticked around, the overwhelming compulsion was to make a b-line to the nearest bar. I once heard that the term “going to the bar” was quite literally just that (I haven’t substantiated this yet…) but drinking has traditionally been associated with the pastimes of lawyers, barristers even judges alike – to negate the mental rigors of practice and “take the edge off”.

The Friday night relief session is a phenomenon that I have not experienced so much being out in business for myself or when working in the creative spaces. But then again, when I was working in the music business, sometimes you had to double check what city you were in, let alone what day it was…

I remember being on the road once in Melbourne. We had done a live television appearance on “the Panel”, before racing across town to the Northcote Social Club where we were promoting our own sold out concert the same night. We just made it. Afterwards we had a few drinks as one invariably does in those circumstances – the next thing it was 4.30am on a Wednesday morning and I remember thinking that was pretty bazaar.

You could do that a few times a week and the weekends kind of became meaningless. The live music space is a very “free” environment and everyone comes out to have a good time. When you are working in venues, in an at times stressful yet very fun context, the temptation to drink is always there.

Drinking and writing have always been aligned. I don’t need to rattle off the list of writer / alcoholics – it is extensive. Drinking puts you in a head space that lends itself to introspection, reverie and analysis – which writers love. It’s a romantic coupling, but equally a potentially destructive one.

So without wanting to put a negative spin or over generalize the drinking cultures of these professions and undertakings, drinking pressures can come to bear in a number of ways.

I do think it’s wrong to say you have to be a big drinker because you choose to do this or participate in that... such cultures are present in some things more than others - but you make your own calls about that and live with your choices.

Certainly I take ownership of the choices I have made around drinking and don’t put them down to the things I have decided to do. It can be useful to acknowledge that those pressures are there, though and see them for what they really are.

I’ll wind this social / psychological barrage up now…

One major thing I have noticed while being out, is that I have gone looking for entertainment. Conversation is great, but as the time wears on, just standing round talking garbage loses its gloss when everyone else is charged up.

I actually think there is something in this. Modern venues have geared themselves exclusively around drinking and nothing else. Most don’t bother with any kind of entertainment anymore. This was certainly not always the case. I tend to think that if the Government wants to combat binge drinking a thoughtful place to start might be in compelling venues to offer more to patrons than just getting them drunk. It could be a great change.

I will post one more debrief on this project / blog series with final thoughts… getting off the booze for a few months is really not a big deal, but as the first quater of the year wraps up, I am glad I did this..

PS -
A final confession - one of the reasons I’m tapping this out in an internet cafĂ© in Byron was that I needed a time out from watching everyone enjoying themselves in the bars and in truth, was killing for a beer!...

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sober Train (Part 2 – Update)

A short blog – for a change…

A brief update on my sobriety progress: still chugging along, some seven weeks along the track – gathering steam. A few significant revelations from the scenic journey thus far:

· You can go without beer on Australia Day.
· Chinese restaurant karaoke does not improve when you are sober, but is equally amusing.
· It is possible to see one of the world’s biggest rock acts (ACDC) whilst stone cold and still have a good one.

I will get a bit more involved in my next blog on this topic…

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sober Train A-Comin’ (Part 1)

I made a decision early this year to stay sober – alcohol free – for an extended period. I made the decision for a few reasons. So far so good – but, it hasn’t been that long just yet.

I took my last tipple on a deck at Yamba on the 9th of January. It was a good swansong - moonlight beaming across the water, breeze off the ocean and a good late night conversation with my dad and my brother over a few drinks, which we don’t get to do all that often.

Given the fact we had plundered the contents of the esky before going home, I think my last drink was a lukewarm, organic apple cider that my brother’s girlfriend had somehow snuck into the supply chain. It was horrendous and I only lasted a swig on that before it hit the ol’ bin in disgrace…

The challenge at this stage is to make it to my birthday - 9 April - without indulging. So a few months… I enjoy a good red too much to ditch it forever, but I think the challenge and experience will be illuminating... I’ll re-evaluate after that.

Bob Dylan wrote the album “Slow Train Coming” – his most “religious” album – in the aftermath of some religious experiences at a time when he was in personal crisis.

At the time, Dylan’s marriage had collapsed, he was getting the worst reviews of his life, his touring was being met with ridicule and his health was poor. The week before his profound experience, a member of the crowd at one of his concerts had thrown a silver cross on stage. Not one to normally pick things up off the stage, Dylan did this time and he kept it.

The following week at another show, he felt terrible and thought to himself – “Well, I need something tonight that I didn't have before.” When he looked in his pocket he had the cross. Later, in his hotel room, Dylan is said to have witnessed a vision of Christ; as Dylan himself recalls it: "Jesus did appear to me as King of Kings, and Lord of Lords ... there was a presence in the room that couldn't have been anybody but Jesus... put his hand on me. It was a physical thing. I felt it. I felt it all over me. I felt my whole body tremble.”

The experiences of this time renewed Dylan and, it is widely believed, probably saved him from an “early grave”. They led to his writing “Slow Train Coming” and took his career in a new direction with a newfound enthusiasm.

Sometimes a challenge or an inspiration - however profound or simple, can make you look at the world with different eyes. It need not be “divine” as in the above example. It could be something very simple. But it is a conversion nonetheless. A conversion in thought or from a routine – perhaps a very stale routine.

For these next few months I will be looking at the world with exclusively sober eyes. It is a change of view. It has already been a bit of a challenge. For instance - I would have really liked to have had a couple of cold beers on Australia Day. I almost succumbed… I really like wine with food. I like having a spirit to relax and write sometimes.

My main goal is for it to be a productive time. I think alcohol can be very positive in a social context – it loosens people up and is oftentimes good for lubricating conversations.
But it also “takes” and can suppress productivity and destroy opportunity. It’s a powerful drug – frequently underestimated and easily abused.

I think the charges levelled at wider Australian society and perhaps the younger generations in general regarding a “binge culture”, are legitimate. Much like the hard drinker who reluctantly accepts their problem, Australians hate to admit it, but in truth, it’s blatent. I’ve looked at this a bit already in terms of reading. It will be good to explore it on a personal level. My own drinking has been “substantial”.

Another goal during this period of sobriety is to be observant. I will use this blog as a bit of a platform in this respect.

The feeling of not having any alcohol in your system is a good one. You do feel, physically, much better. That’s another part of the challenge on a personal level – with a desire to do more serious training again to get myself back into old fitness levels (and clothes sizes!), alcohol related sluggishness is one less thing...

I was also further encouraged down this road, by the thoughts of a mate, Dave Butler, who has also recently undertaken a booze sabbatical. He is participating in a movement called “Hello Sunday Morning” in which drinkers take the challenge of going sober (most for considerably longer than I am) while documenting their thoughts and impressions. You can read Dave’s blog at: http://hellosundaymorning.com.au/?cat=174

As a muso, Dave spends a lot of time in what I would consider to be one of the most “free” environments in our culture: that of the live rock concert. Having spent a bit of time in this space myself, I know how conducive it is to behaviour like heavy drinking.

The temptation to drink is omnipresent in our social environments I think, but is also more pronounced in some occupations and scenes. I’ll try and broach this in my next blog, among other things, from aboard the sober train