My first and perhaps most famous birthday party immediately sprang to mind… I have been to a few pretty “hair – raising” do's over the years, but NOTHING comes close to the cyclonic mayhem of my 7th.
I recall I had invited two girls, which was a sufficient quota to appease my mum; but not so many as to cop excessive grief and inflict damage to my status in the playground. I remember I had been insistent with my mum on this point.
The girls had gone to incredible lengths with their dresses and were exquisitely attired. So much so that after the formalities were exchanged and everyone had arrived, I tossed them each a faded rugby jersey with the recommendation that if they wanted to fit in and participate, they would “need to wear these.”
That party was my first exposure to and lesson in the “madness of crowds”: how one person’s mood can influence the person next to them, etcetera… Needless to say, what started as a controlled, polite, well behaved gathering of young children, proceeded to devolve into a hysterical swarm of manic, excessively sugared little brats, impervious to any and all directions and rules, running riot through our backyard and house.
Garden implements were dragged out of store rooms, old bikes and go karts and all manner of toys extracted, abused and strewn about the property - kids were running around completely out of their minds. Whilst I must claim responsibility, in part, for helping to orchestrate the frenzy that ensued, things got utterly out of hand and I quickly realised that a crowd can quickly develop a mind of its own. I was, ultimately, powerless to stop it…
For my mild mannered parents, it was a scene from hell.
But the party truly climaxed when my birthday cake was brought out. With much difficulty, the seething mass had been sedated- very briefly - but there was a palpable, bristling energy around the table. The cake had been specially made – in the form of a football, no less. It had cost $50, which back in the midst of the early nineties recession, was not small change.
After an ear splitting rendition of “Happy Birthday” and to the horror of my parents, I brought the curtains down on an unforgettable event with a swift “karate chop” that severed the football cake in two and rendered it inedible.
The party was over.
Needless to say, I received a belting and was told in no uncertain terms there would never be another birthday party…
As history was to prove, my folks were true to their word… for several years at least. Most of my parties during my school years from therein were “quiet family affairs”. I did attend some great ones though…
Post school I’ve had a few dos… I didn’t end up having an 18th. I’d hosted my entire senior year back to my house just a few months earlier on the last day of school – which was an incredible night – but was still cleaning bottle tops out of the gardens when my 18th ticked around, so I left it.
I did have an impromptu 20th at home on a weekend my parents went away. It turned into a big night. I have a recollection of playing a bunch of old disco vinyl LPs I'd found, all night. I’m also still cranky because I took a great roll of film at that party with my old favourite pentax slr (since stolen), but it was never wound on properly. Would have produced some nice memories...
I’d had designs on throwing a big party for my 21st, but strangely enough, when the time came, I couldn’t think of anything worse and scrapped all my plans to do so. I was in a bad mood at the time, but for whatever reason, I had become cynical about the whole idea and felt very self-conscious about being the centre of attention at such a thing. I guess I figured it was overly self indulgent and besides, there were so many 21sts on that year, one less would be a relief. I had fish and chips with three of my closest friends instead.
While the fish and chips option was good, I regret that decision now. And I have changed my thinking. I realise that birthday parties are bigger than the person celebrating the birthday. In fact, they are not really about the person celebrating them at all. They are a chance for the birthday boy or girl, to gather together and enjoy the company of the people that are most important to them and to thank them.
So sometime after that I made the decision to celebrate every subsequent birthday, in some way, in that spirit…
We hired some marquees and had a party at home for my 23rd. I remember my birthday fell on a Sunday night that year, so it was a pretty relaxed but fun night. Some of the artists I was working with at the time, Bobby Flynn as well as Dave Butler and John Pickering from the Quills, very generously played on a small stage I’d set up – which made the night especially memorable.
Last year, for my 25th, I chartered a beautiful old 72 foot Norman Wright timber bay-cruiser boat and took 12 of my closest pals out for a weekend in Moreton Bay. Everyone knocked off early on the Friday afternoon and we set off from a mate’s place on the Brissy River for a few days. I am a bit of a boatie and love the ocean, so pottering around Moreton Bay on a comfortable boat with a bunch of your best mates was probably my idea of the perfect birthday.
There were some very funny stories from that trip – most I won’t mention - but a couple of highlights included a simple “cheers” that escalated and saw no less than a carton of beer dissolved in spray in the space of about 20 seconds on the back deck… and a 3am “call” on our “24 hour chef”, Fiona, to cook a few late night survivors a few snags… A fun trip.
This year I did a trip to Melbourne to visit a bunch of my close friends now living down there which was also a great time.
I said in my first sentence that my recent birthday has dropped me on the right side of 25. I actually believe this – it is not just blind positivity or some denial or delusion.
In my own experience and in my own observations of others around my age, I feel as though the early 20’s are, undoubtedly, at times very fun and sometimes wild, in the best most joyous way. But they can also be trying. You are dealt some life lessons that force you to take heed and that is not always pleasant. It is also, from what I have seen and experienced at least, a searching time.
I think post 25 you are much surer of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses and your place in the world. And therein lies the most exciting part. Because it brings a freedom to stop fighting against yourself and any of the other extraneous stuff young people are hit with; and really go for it.
That’s how I feel about it anyway.
Birthday celebrations always make you think about the best things in your life and for me that always revolves around the people in my life. I’m lucky to have such wonderful friends and family.
And so in the spirit of this blog and my recent birthday, I send out some love to my brilliant friends and amazing family - all my dear ones - through this cyber contraption. Thanks for everything!
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